Tag Archives: #child

Can you Disown Family Members?

So now our throw-away culture has evolved into disowning people.   There are articles in Google – how to disown your relatives, family, your parents, your mate, your siblings, and even your child.

Now, how do you do that?   Some instruct to write down all the things that you don’t like, for example, if they don’t like your lifestyle or your friends or your beliefs or you don’t like theirs ~ simply tell them what their boundaries are and if they don’t stay within them, they will be disowned.

I’m so glad God has told me He would never disown me. 

I’ve lived through bad relationships, bad friends, even bad relatives, and some bad situations, but I’ve never felt ‘disowned’.  I always had God.  Life was sometimes hard enough – who needs dismemberment?  Cut off from the folks in our ilife who gave us life or us them?   Cut them out of your life and life events?   If we all did that, very few of us would have a social life or even talk to one another.   How do you disown a son, daughter, parent, or a child?   You might say well, if they are a drug addict and would steal everything you own to buy drugs or she is always borrowing money – is always broke, or my mother is always meddling in my life….and the beat goes on.

Does disowning them make them change or stop? Does it change their DNA or their personalities?   Isn’t that son the one who likes to drink and is ‘just like you’.    And isn’t that daughter you complain about having one affair after another because you did once and felt you did nothing wrong?    What about that little sister you don’t talk to because she’s been married three times just like you are?   Ever think you may be the role model that they turned into? 

So…you want disown them.   How? 

Change her bloodline or DNA?   Rip up his birth certificate?  Take them out of your will? Move across the country?  No more birthday or Christmas presents for them?  How?   By not attending any family celebration parties?   Does disowning them make you never think about them on those days?  

We all live in a fast obsolescence society.   If it doesn’t fit, discard it.   If you want to go to Hawaii on vacation and your husband wants to go to South America, then get a divorce.  If your son sits around playing video games all day at age 26 and doesn’t work,  just disown him.  

Could you possibly play a part in any of these ill-fitting scenarios?  Are you or were YOU ever disowned?   Loyalty and steadfastness are old-fashioned terms in this age.  We are increasingly becoming selfies In our lives as well as in cell phone photo-taking. If something doesn’t fit well with us – just chuck it or disown it.  **(I need to add here that I’m not referring to  severe situations with others that can be very hurtful or unhealthy to all and these may need outside counseling, arbitration and/or if not changed – -withdrawal.)   

Think about the person you’re chucking or disowning.   That person has feelings, too.   Ever think of alternative ways to solve the badness between you and others?   Rather than disowning and breaking all ties, try compromising, helping, forgiving, offering solutions or praying for others which can be more effective and what we all need.   Withdraw temporarily, if need be ……but don’t disown.   God never disowns us;  He calls us to offer the same steadfastness to others.  Try turning the other cheek as He instructs  – it’s so much more beneficial to your stress and health.  

Have discussions and discard bad attitudes;  agree to disagree.   Discipline your anger, dispose of past hang-ups,.  Dismiss the disease of unforgiveness, and display forgiveness – you may rediscover  the person or child you once loved.   And it may just change your lives.   If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.   Disown the past and move into the future.

Marie Coppola© Revised January 2018