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"Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more."  A. Hallock

Desperate times call for desperate measures and borrowing money can be one of those measures. Most people do not like to be in the position of asking a friend or family member for a loan, but in these economy-challenged times, the prospect of making a loan looms as a possibility due to shortage of funds. Banks are now reluctant to make loans and many families are experiencing job loss or foreclosures. To meet monetary responsibilities, some may look to their families or friends to 'make a loan'.

It has been said that if you decide to lend money to family or friends for whatever reason, to treat such a loan as a gift. Part of your decision to lend it, should carry the mentality that many people will simply not repay you. It is fair to assume that everyone reading this has borrowed some amount of money to a friend or relative, and never been repaid. Sometimes it's a ten dollar amount and sometimes it is in the thousands.

It has also been said that all loans to relatives should be considered that it is indeed a gift. Since it is a close relationship and you may be aware of the personal circumstances surrounding the request for a loan, the relative may find relief in that it is money that does not have to be paid back quickly because you know what a bind they are in and will have patience until they 'get on their feet' to pay you back. It the repayment is put on the 'back burner' of the recipient for a long period of time, they may either 'forget' about the loan or simply feel that since it is in the family, it need not be paid back soon..... or ever.

It's difficult to refuse to help a relative money-wise when times are going rough for them. If you prefer not to lend money, perhaps you could offer to help them out in some way -- to pay for an expense that is due, or aid them in paying a household expense or other outstanding charges they may have. Again, because of the relationship with family, and also with close friends, it may be uncomfortable to ask them for an IOU [I Owe You] stating the amount and date of the loan.

An IOU is a written statement of a borrower's obligation to pay back a loan or a debt, but makes no promises on how or when the loan will be repaid. If the IOU has the borrower's name, signature, address, date, amount stated, it could be considered a contract that could be enforceable by a court of law to be repaid. Note that State laws and statutes of limitations may vary on the conditions to do so. IOUs are not usually notarized, but it wouldn't hurt if it is a sizeable amount and if something happened to the borrower and you needed to make a claim against his/her estate.

The difference between an IOU and a promissory note is that an IOU only states an amount that is owed to another party. A promissory note states the amount as well as the steps necessary to pay back the debt and the consequences if it is not. It may also be called a loan agreement or personal loan agreement.

A promissory note is a written promise to repay a loan or debt under specific terms. These notes could exist between any relationship consisting of two persons: parent and child, friends, co-workers, etc. This is usually defined by date, and specified series of payments, or simply paid back upon demand. It also verifies the borrower's obligation to repay a debt [with or without interest].**

** Interest is regulated by the state and there are laws regulating it (Usury is defined as the act of lending money at an unreasonably high interest rate, this rate is defined at the state level. Repayment of loans at a usurious rate makes repayment excessively difficult to impossible for borrowers. This is also called "loan sharking" or "predatory lending". Ref: UsuryLaw.com)

The note contains the amount of the loan, terms of the loan, the interest rate - if applicable, the payment schedule and the rights and obligations of the lender and borrower. Promissory notes, like IOUs, do not have to be notarized in order to be considered valid. But again, it wouldn't hurt and could ensure repayment.

Typically, promissory notes are kept by the lender until the amount of money has been paid in full, at which time the payee can request the right to retrieve the promissory note for his or her records along with a written and signed receipt. This should consider the debt paid in full.

Information that should be included in Promissory notes are: Full legal names of both parties, Address to which payment will be sent ;

Interest rate if applicable (see Usury note above); Due dates for payments of both principal and interest; Signatures of both borrower and lender.

Disclaimer: The information contained in this article is provided for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject matter. The reader should seek and employ qualified legal counsel and not rely on information presented here for any purpose.

There are persons who genuinely honor their obligations and repay their loans. They will keep you up-to-date on their ability to pay amounts and when and how the payments will be made. These persons are very appreciative of the trust you offered and are eternally grateful.

Sadly there are more of the other variety, who make excuses, sometimes end friendships before they repay their debt or simply seem to forget about the loan.  Think it through before you lend.

 


In our fast track world, people like instant gratification, or at least quick results. Disappointments can occur if your expectations are too high. You can become disenchanted with people, places and things. This can happen even in the place you go to for rest, renewal and refuge - your place of worship. For simplification of terms, I will call it a church.

As part of a faith-sharing group, I listened to multi-denominations share their expectations and disappointments regarding their Saturday, Sunday or any day of worship.

1} Many of the group did not like the emphasis of the church asking for money. Some of them complained that it was an on-going practice. We all know that worship establishments have bills like the rest of us. They pay electricity, heating and air conditioning, cleaning, taxes, salaries, etc.  Usually the church offers a balance sheet of where the money is going.  If not, offer to be part of the Finance Committee. You will see where it goes and have a voice in how it is distributed. If you are not asked to join, most Finance Committees have an open door policy whereby you can sit in and listen to where the money is going. If they don’t, initiate one by addressing it to the building or church administrator.

2} Closely related to regular collections is the matter of tithing. How much treasure do you tithe? Tithing is explained in Deuteronomy 14:22 “You shall truly tithe all the increase of your grain that the field produces year by year." The definition of the tithe was very simple and plainly laid out for Israel. They were to gather their harvest and count the tithe out from what they’ve gathered. For instance, if you had 100 apples, you must count them out from one-to-ten, and the tenth one you set aside for the Lord – Leviticus 27:32. Today, many denominations pay heed to the 10% of income for church tithing. And many people complain that they cannot afford that. I am not here to argue church’s expectations of tithes or what you should give. I believe that it is an individual choice - some give more; some give less and it should be a personal, private choice and not made public.  What you give is between you and God no matter how much or how many times you are asked.

3} Some of the group complained of their leader, minister, pastor or priest. They simply did not like him or her. They did not feel (s)he was leading the congregation correctly, said improper things, was insensitive, and many other things. In other words, (s)he was imperfect.  We all are imperfect. Even church leaders.  It is a difficult life for many of these leaders; it is a solitary life, especially if they don’t have partners to share stress with. And there is a lot of work and stress. Besides juggling the church’s expenses, administration, activities and worship programs, the church leader also give counsel, oversees funerals, weddings, christenings, baptisms, etc. etc. They are very busy people and churches are usually short-handed. If you don’t like the leader's mode of operation, volunteer to do some of the leg work he or she does routinely. We have ministry programs to give communion to hospital or shut-ins, bereavement committees help with funerals; there are countless things you can do to help an overworked religious leader. And they LOVE home-cooked meals AND the company - invite them to dinner; you may see another side of them.

4} Everyone complained about children and small babies at church. Especially the fidgety and wailing variety. I admit that I use to complain about this, too. Religious leaders always welcome children to church - some churches have separate glassed rooms for young ones to prevent disrupting the congregation. My feeling is that children who attend church with their parents from an early age quickly adjust and become part of the church family/community easily and lovingly. It is natural for them to be there with family and most likely will duplicate this faith with their own families someday in the same way.

5} Some of the group complained they did not like the people in their church community; they were too high class, too low-class, too gossipy, and the beat goes on.  We don’t go to church for the people - we go to church for God.

They lament they will go to another church. There are people all around us we may not care for - maybe even in our own families, but we don’t go look for another family. Many times, the dislikes you feel are cosmetic; you may not really know the other people and let’s face it, you don’t have to socialize with them.  You attend church with them, same as attending college or any social gathering. Focus on why you are in church; and don’t focus on the people. You can be friendly and sincere, but you don’t have to live with them. Even Jesus had altercations with his twelve disciples. Peter and James wanted the honor of being on His right and left side in heaven to the consternation of the other ten. Another time, ’An argument started among the disciples as to which of them would be the greatest."  Jesus didn’t replace them; and he didn’t go to another town looking for 12 different disciples. There will always be church members in ANY church you may not see eye to eye with, but you are there to worship and they are part of the community. Maybe they harbor similar feelings about you. Bloom where you are planted and try to grow in faith with everyone, especially those who are different from you. You are there to worship; not judge your brothers and sisters.

© Marie Coppola Revised February 2015

Ref: McDonald Road Sermons converted to HTML and last updated 4/21/04 by Bob Beckett English:

 


This is it! You are invited back for a 3rd interview and feel confident that the job will be offered. Here are some tips to consider when the subject of salary is mentioned.

Before the meeting, do your homework on market data for the salary you can expect for the position. You can use one of my favorites - www.salary.com and make sure you use your zip code, city and state.

Let the interviewer mention salary first.

Try to find out as much as you can what the job actually entails; ie, overtime, travel, benefits. It's to your benefit to know exactly what requirements and responsibilities will be expected in the position. Be confident of your strengths and achievements. Offer documented value of what you can bring to the job. Bring along a previous performance appraisal.

The interviewer or employer should make the first salary offer. If you are asked, say that you expect a competitive market value salary or you can give him/her a range that you find acceptable. Don't be too aggressive in negotiating what you expected. An offer is an offer and you can say no.

You do NOT have to accept the first salary offer. If you feel it is inadequate or less than you desire, you CAN negotiate salary. Try to focus on the employer's total compensation offer.

If the company offers excellent 401k, savings, insurance, wellness, bonuses, vacations, etc., you may want to take that into consideration in lieu of a higher salary. You may also negotiate extra vacation or extra personal or sick days or bonuses in lieu of salary.

Thank the employer for the offer when it is made, but don't try to negotiate right after the offer is made. Ask for some time to think it over.

Salary negotiations is not a game or status to see how well you can do. Never inflate your current or previous earnings to try to get a higher offer. Human resource departments share this information with other companies and it is likely they already know what you are or were making. You should consider where the company is located, how they are doing (check out their annual report), what the turnover of employees is, travel time to and from work, working conditions, and what your title will be. A Vice-President in one company may be a Director or Manager in another company. Some may have offices but many have cubicles. Decide what is most important to you before the meeting.

If you find the offer acceptable either at that meeting or a subsequent one, ask for the offer in writing. Most companies supply them without asking, but inquire to make sure they do.

Good luck - I hope the job is the one you want and the salary, too!

Marie Coppola February 2011

Ref: Quintessential Careers http://quintcareers.com/index.html