So you’ve decided you’ve had it with all the friends you had all these past years – you’ve outgrown them. You have nothing in common anymore. You say, “Some live far away – others are too busy with their lives to keep in touch and there’s lots of new friends to make in this big old world and this definitely appeals to me right now”. You think?
You continue: “So what if she was my maid of honor at my wedding and he was the baby’s Godfather. That was then and this is now…My oldest ‘friend’ I met when we were both three years old – we’re related somehow. Now he’s a liberal and I’m a conservative. My best friend all through junior high and high school has different interests, friends and activities from me. It’s time to turn a leaf and make new attachments.” You think?
Many of us have busy active lives, even more so if we have kids and/or still work. New friends are interesting and fun at lunch or for a night out or a dinner or movie together. We may have similar interests; our jobs, friends of friends, neighbors, etc.
Imagine a life-changing event comes up or an important decision you have to make. Or a family issue. Can you turn to that fairly new friend to offer solutions or advice on what they would do in your shoes? But how long have they lived in your shoes? Do they know your revolving family history and the key players? Do you know them as intimately as a 10, 15, 25 or 30 year friendship?
Many of us can call a long-time ago friend after a substantial time lapse and tell him or her what you’re going through. These friends can fill in your life blanks themsevles They know your past actions, family relationships and personal history as well as your patience, endurance and value quotients. You don’t have to start from the beginning of your life to explain your present situation and fill in the blanks like you do have to with newer friends. Perhaps there are tentacles to the situation that you don’t wish to share with someone you don’t know well. Long-time friends pretty much know a lot about you. There ‘s so much you would have to explain about your life events that an old friend already knows. Who better to assess what is before you – your problem and offer solutions? They know you – how you react- how you see things – what’s most important to you.
Here’s a test: stop reading this and call an old friend. You can interface with them no matter how long it’s been since you last spoke together. You go right back from where you left off and feel comfortable with it. You cannot duplicate that gift. You’ve been through many things together – things a new friend hasn’t shared with you . And will they repeat it to someone else? You already know which friends are trusted ones.
Now wait just a minute – do you really want to ditch your old friends? Having relocated myself and meeting new ‘friends’ I enjoy the friendships, but it lacks the strength of time that old friends give you. By the way, keeping tabs on life-long friends can extend your life span. Click here: http://www.rodalenews.com/friendship-and-long-life
© Marie Coppola February 2015