Tag Archives: parents#

How Do You Disown Someone?

So now our throw-away culture has evolved into disowning people.   There are articles in Google – how to disown your relatives, family, your parents, your mate, your siblings, and even your child.

Now, how do you do that?   Some instruct to write down all the things that you don’t like, for example, if they don’t like your lifestyle or your friends or your beliefs or you don’t like theirs ~ simply tell them what their boundaries are and if they don’t stay within them, they will be disowned.

I’m so glad God never told me He would disown me. 

I’ve lived through bad relationships, bad friends, even bad relatives, and some bad situations, but I’ve never felt ‘disowned’.  I always had God.

Life was sometimes hard enough – who needs dismemberment?  Cut off from the folks in our ilife who gave us life or us them?  

Cut them out of your life and life events?   If we all did that, very few of us would have a social life or even talk to one another.  

Of special interest to me – how do you disown a son, daughter, parent, or a child?   You might say well, if they are a drug addict and would steal everything you own to buy drugs or she is always borrowing money – is always broke, or my mother is always meddling in my life….and the beat goes on.

Does disowning them make them change or stop?   Does it change their DNA or their personalities?   Isn’t that son the one who is ‘just like you”.    And isn’t that daughter you complain about having one abortion after another because you once did and are pro-abortion?  What about that sister you don’t talk to because she’s married 3 times just like you are? 

So…disown them.   How? 

Change her bloodline or DNA?   Rip up his birth certificate?  Take them out of your will? Move across the country?  No more birthday or Christmas presents for them?How?   By not attending any family celebration parties?   Does disowning them make you never think about them on those days?  

We all live in a fast obsolescence society.   If it doesn’t fit, discard it.  

If you want to go to Hawaii on vacation and your husband wants to go to South America, then divorce him.  If your child sits around playing video games at age 20 and doesn’t work, disown him.  

Could you possibly play a part in any of these ill-fitting scenarios?  Are you or were YOU ever disowned?   Loyalty and steadfastness are old-fashioned terms in this age.  We are increasingly becoming selfies In our lives as well as in cell photo-taking. If something doesn’t fit well with us – chuck it or disown it.  (*I need to add that there are some situations with others that can be very hurtful or unhealthy to all and these may need outside counseling, arbitration and/or if not changed – withdrawal.)   

Think about the person you’re chucking or disowning.   That person has feelings, too.   Ever think of alternative ways to solve the badness between you and others?   Rather than disowning and breaking all ties, try compromising, helping, forgiving, offering solutions or praying for others which can be more effective and what we all need.   Withdraw temporarily, if need be ……but don’t disown.   God never disowns us;  He calls us to offer the same to others.  Try turning the other cheek – it’s so much more beneficial to your stress and health.

Marie Coppola© Revised March 2017

Why Faith is Important to You & Your Family ~


Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Faith is defined in Wikipedia as “Faith is hope, belief or trust in an entity or idea that is not based on material proof.”

Many persons received their personal faith in God or a higher power by being handed down through the generations in their families. When family unity is strong or intact, the beliefs of their family and extended family generally follow the next generations’ belief system. Some families believe in ‘let them choose faith themselves when they are older’. Faith is hard to establish without early seeds of planting the basics of faith. You can’t just ‘choose’ something you’ve never experienced.   Many people with no faith want to know how to get it or help them get it.   It’s simply opening your heart to acceptance of it.   A blueprint or background helps them understand better.

Whatever the denomination or religious belief the family follows, it usually encompasses rituals, beliefs, and traditions based on reverence, devotion, loyalty to beliefs and good works and lifestyles. There are numerous faiths in our world, and my aim here is to appeal to parents to instill their faith, or beliefs or good values or morality and ethics to their children. If these virtues are learned as a child, the seeds will be planted and take root.  A conscience will develop to the good or virtues in life and avoid the bad.

How can parents do this?    By teaching them the values they themselves learned as children and share these gifts with their children when they are very young. Talk to your kids about what is right and what is wrong.  Foster friendships with families whose family life you respect and want to imitate.  Take your kids to a place of worship. Children love the unity of sharing faith with family and this unity rewards all family members.

We live in a fast-changing world.  Technology can be a good thing and sometimes it is not. Everything is speeded up; even games. Especially video games. A friend mentioned to me that her grandchildren get bored with movies like Bambi, Cinderella, Lady and the Tramp – the Disney Classics, etc. because they are ‘boring’, ‘too slow’, and ‘not exciting. They missed  the ‘messages’ these movies taught about loyalty, love, and good vs. evil.

These values need to be taught and brought in the home, but many times, today’s families are fractured, maybe led by a single parent, or perhaps some families are caught up in endless activities, working and school sports or clubs.

So where do the younger generations learn about morality, ethics, respect, and fair play if everyone is too busy to be role models or teach them? From Hollywood and pop stars? Our politicians? Who ARE our kids’ role models? Are you?   Do you teach them about spirituality, the Bible, the Ten Commandments, Rules to Live By or any doctrines?   How will they learn to love one another, forgive others, and respect others?   By your example and by your faith.

Where do they learn about bullying, hurting people who they ‘don’t like’ or thinking about blowing up the school to get back at someone. Did they ever learn that murder is wrong or revengeful gossiping can hurt people or it isn’t right to publicly insult people on Facebook that some kids have committed suicide?. Or teaching them that wanting and needing every new tech device or latest fad instead of thinking about helping someone less fortunate than themselves. Are they Numero Uno in all they do? Chances are, they always will be, if they are not taught otherwise.   And that will affect their parents’ future relationships with them.

Schools don’t teach social skills or moral values. Or how to play fair, love fair or how not to priortize their interests to the detriment of others.

Your house of faith, temple, or churches do teach these values.  Bring your kids to your house of worship. Yes, it’s annoying when small children get cranky or noisy, but they quickly adapt. And they will grow up and take their own kids. You will reap a bond with your children through your common beliefs and traditions. Your faith will help your family through turbulent times, recession hardships and personal malfunctions. It is sorely needed today and sorely absent.

Faith brings people and families together. A family that prays together usually stays together. Couples, too. If a person disappoints you, knowing that you share the same faith can bring you close again. If a person deeply loves you, faith can bring you even more the best joy in life you’ve ever had. If you are alone, faith can provide a path and blessings that you never experienced. Faith isn’t a crutch or a substitute – it’s a blessing that will stay with you forever and multiply its blessings.

“Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” ~Galatians 6:7    Sow some good seeds today and plant them in your children.    They will become the fruits of your labor.

© Marie Coppola   February 2013